As I lamented silently in my corner, I felt three pairs of eyes on me, watching my every movement. I smelled the sweet scent of my unexpected visitors, and suddenly, life wasn’t so bad after all; females were all around me AND at the same time, interested in me. I rarely had female company and the change was welcome. Of course, there is my ‘master’, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to see her in any other way than that of the person because of whom I was separated from loved ones. Anyway, the two other faces were new to me and they didn’t really seem that mean.
But little did I know of the whimsical nature of the fair sex for my experience was only limited to my sisters and their friends who had never been that interested in me. Some experience wouldn’t hurt, I thought to myself as I tried to remember the tips my older brothers gave me.

Rule No. 1: Make as if you’re not interested.

Which was exactly what I did. I wasn’t sure that this would work out for I simply couldn’t imagine how ignoring someone could make him or her attracted to you. And of course, as I thought, it didn’t work for as soon as I hid my head in the wood shavings on the floor. They left me alone again for some filthy human food… Well, it did mean I could go back to sleep, which I did eventually.

And back I went to dreaming of that beautiful girl… But this bliss would not last long. Again I felt the earth shaking. What was it now? Another earthquake? I sleepily opened my eyes to see the three girls back again. They were chatting amongst themselves, laughing, while ogling me with renewed interest. I can’t say this admiration didn’t flatter me, but I was still a bit shy about it!

Rule No.2: Show them your good side.

Which I promptly applied myself to. I scurried around in my cage, digging around and sniffing the air, for the two new girls’ sweet perfume. I climbed around, delighted to hear their “Ohhs” and “Ahhs”, and their excited comments, the words of which I alas could not understand. I was proud of myself and wanted to show off more. So I decided to climb up my yellow wheel. I usually hated that, but, I had to if I wanted to bask longer in the limelight!
But my usual laziness had gotten me rusty. I couldn’t handle being inside the wheel, so I climbed up, on the wheel, as I was used to… Alas, I couldn’t keep my balance for long, and I fell from the yellow thing countless times, each rewarded by peals of laughter from the ladies. I was so humiliated, but I didn’t give up. I was determined to impress the girls, and so decided to try the “one hand gym” on the wheel with one paw holding the bars of the cage and the other turning the wheel, which of course which somehow really made the girls amazingly happy. I tried to stay on for as long as I could, but I soon was out of breath and so very tired… Damn laziness, I cursed myself.
And no need to say that after wasting so much energy in trying to impress the girls, I was hungry, which didn’t go unnoticed by my ‘master’. She showed her friends how I could elegantly take sunflower seeds from people, and each of them took turns to give me one, which I immediately hid in my mouth. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, they must have heard that for after sunflower seeds came the delicious biscuits. However, I am not too proud for what came after…

I have this really bad habit of keeping everything in my mouth until nobody is watching and I can finally eat in peace. My mouth had already grown huge from the biscuits and seeds, and I didn’t want to take them out in front of the girls. That wasn’t really graceful, I knew that. But some minutes after, when I realised they were not ready to give me some privacy my belly was looking for, I gave up. Trying to hide what I was doing, I took the food out and hid it in the wood shavings, praying that they would go away now. The total opposite happened… My actions somehow intrigued them and now, they were watching even closer.

“Ah, and to hell with them!”

I looked for my biscuits in the mess I had foolishly created myself, still trying to hide when I heard the shutter sound of a camera. I simply couldn’t believe that they dared to take pictures of me without permission. My master had allowed it of course but I was in no way eager to pose for a bunch of girls. I had my dignity. It seemed that they had been taking pictures since the very beginning and I hadn’t even realised it. I had been too engrossed in trying to impress them. I tried to go far away from them, so that they wouldn’t be able to take the pictures, but that seemed futile. As soon as I went to the other side, they would turn my cage in the other way, so that I was facing them again. I wonder how many times we went through this, until I got tired of them and decided to have a nap.

By then, my master had already left me alone; she was already aware of my simple routine of eating and then sleeping which I faked every now and then when she showed some interest in me. However, it seemed that this feint wasn’t going to work on the newcomers. They did their very best to get me moving again, and it worked. I tried really hard not to let them have the upper hand but I gave up, they were too strong. But the worse was yet to come for the real torture hadn’t even begun yet.

Gone were the thoughts of trying to impress them as I switched to Survival Mode 101. I told myself I had to get through this and I barely made it alive. I remember running around everywhere, climbing up and down the ladder, jumping from my little house and having my little bowl kidnapped. I thought of escaping a few times but that was even worse. Everyday I try to gnaw my way out of the cage hoping that my sharp teeth would be enough to cut through them, and I wonder what made me think that it was going to work this time. I was desperate. I had to get away from the physical and mental torture these human girls were giving me and anything was welcome. I was too fat to be able to pass through the iron bars, too short to jump and too slow to climb when they opened the trap. In brief, their huge sizes made sure they had the upper hand.

They tried to ask for forgiveness with some biscuits, which tasted differently from what I usually was used to. It was really sweet and it melted in my mouth. No need to say that I waited for more, sniffing around to make them understand. I should really stop that for it simply brought more torture again as they put one biscuit near the cage and took it away when I reached for it. They even had the guts to rub some of it on my cage to have stupid me gnaw it again. Really, how I wished these walls didn’t separated us and I couldn’t show them who I really was.
I only had only one option left; I had no choice but to use the old spell my father taught me to get rid of evil beings. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it for never before had I been in a situation where I had to use it. I said the spell over and over again, hoping for some miracle to happen… I couldn’t believe it when the laughter died and it was all silent again. It worked, the spell had worked. It hadn’t been as powerful as it should have been but it stopped their evil mind from taking over my little space. They had quietly put be back on the table and left the room without looking back….

I did hear their voices again when they were leaving or was it just a dream? I do not know. I remembered the voice of my master forbidding them to approach me before I fell into deep slumber…

~Piyoule, The Mutant Hamster

Knowing that a full-proof plan was needed, for, of course, we were going to be bombarded with questions about the why and stuff. The best strategy needed to be adapted to get past the barriers our supermoms created, and after dropping clever hints for months and crafting the perfect reasons, we decided to present our cases to our mothers. We almost jumped in joy when we heard the oh-so-awaited “yes” uttered by our mothers! We had wanted this for a long time, but somehow everything was rushed. The previous week, I told the girls that they could come whenever they want, and suddenly, Wednesday arrived, with me hurrying to go meet them.

It was decided to meet in town first, for a trip to the beauty salon (yes, it would seem in the past months our feminine side had been awakened). A quick remake of “The Grudge” (with Nus in the main role) later, we finally made way for Nus’s place where what would be the craziest day of our life would soon begin! Lying on the sofa bed which since 2007 has been witnessing our girly meetings, with Nus’ feet somewhere where they shouldn’t have been, we started playing our favourite Top 5 game, which somehow switched from Top 5 to Top Worst and vice versa, as per the whims of the ‘not-so-womanly woman of the house’.

The Nus

But doing the same things over and over again do tend to be tiring, no matter how fun they are. Five cards later, we were under the blankets, talking about god-knows-what, until we fell on my “cute perfumed diary” as Sayuka so perfectly described in 2002. No need to say that what was written in it was mostly embarrassing for Sayuka and G. We really were dying of laughter as we went through the pages… 2002 was the year Sayuka, G. and I met, though I doubt we’ll ever remember how Sayuka and I met really. However, if there’s something we’re not likely to forget, it’s how we practically hated each other. And the not-so-perfected sarcastic tone of Sayuka’s note just reminded us of that time, upon which, we laughed even more.

The Revelation

After taking a break for some calorie intake, we continued till the very last page, reading out the very limited intellectual abilities of us kids when we were 12 years old. G couldn’t stay for the night, so she went home at about 3, promising to comeback the day after.

Huge Calorie Intake

With just the two of us alone now, Nus and I decided to continue talking, jumping, as was our habit, from one subject to the next, till we were called for dinner. After which, back upstairs, tucked under the blanket again, we decided to watch an old Olsen Twins movie. Movie time was also cuddling time, as I soon learned; for as soon as Nus didn’t want to continue watching the screen, she snuggled teasingly against me, which earned her a good deal of “Leave Me alone” and slaps. But soon, we grew tired of the movie, and stopped watching altogether, going back to discussing matters that were worrying us. It was the time for a truly open-hearted conversation, with our feelings and emotions laid bare.

“Hey, let’s get on the bed, okay? We’ll fall asleep here, if that continues,” said Nus, some hour later, eyelids drooping and voice all sleepy. It was true; the demons of sleep were sneaking on us. So we grudgingly went to make the bed and sunk underneath the 4 layers of thick blanket. We were expecting to fall asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows, but the night was far from over.

From the serious topics on the sofa bed, we indulged in the silliest conversation ever, unable to laugh for everyone was asleep already! We stifled laughter and giggles as each of us added to the silliness of the conversation, so much that the 4 supposedly heavy blankets were flung off us as easily as a simple cover would! A blanket war later, we were left feeling as hot as in summer, suffocating under the blankets. It was time for a change of scenery: off went two of the heaviest blankets. Once again under the covers, we resumed the conversation. It was time for Nussie to feel all affectionate and clingy, sinking low in the bed and snuggling close to me. As I flung off her arms and pushed her unmoving body away, Nus protested in the most innocent manner: “But there’s no room! Don’t push me!” Needless to say there was still half of the bed left on her side, but the little missy’s love was overwhelming and she couldn’t keep her hands to herself, despite my harsh words and kicks and punches! So I gave up, and let her do as she pleased (it was easier to let her do that; for fighting her off made her more clingy -.-)

We soon came to a realization: Nus and I were through and through closet perverts xD. We couldn’t help it! I witnessed a quick parody of “Spiderman” starring Nus, and learned that her legs were in fact a sack of potatoes! So the laughter doubled and the antics intensified, so much that we didn’t see the time pass. A glance at the clock, or more exactly Nus’s phone, told us it was almost 3 in the morning! We decided to have some rest, for we didn’t want to be Zombies and miss the fun the next day!

I remember waking up to my mom opening the door to my room. As per her usual routine, she went to feed the fish and at the same time, stole the empty cookies box which still is lying on my kitchen shelf. My last thought before I fell in deep slumber again was “I can’t believe she’s not banging doors today”, which is part of her daily routine as well. I woke up again to the really loud vibrations of my cellphone. It was G. sending me an sms, telling us that she would be coming at 11.30 a.m. instead of the 10.00 a.m we had agreed to. So far, so good, for I wasn’t sure we would have been ready at 10. I showed Sayuka the message and I think we both fell asleep again, to wake up to the deafening alarm clock of my cellphone. Maybe it was time to wake up after all, but… sleep was the only thing on my mind…

Sayuka, being the most reasonable one, got out of bed immediately. I watched her as she went to and from the connected living room in search of her stuff, not that I could actually see her very clearly. I was without my glasses, very sleepy and half of my face was covered with the blanket. I think she talked to me, but I can’t really remember. It was only when she went to the other room that I decided to get out of sweet heaven as well.

I heard Nus getting out of bed and going to brush her teeth. By that time, I was on her arm chair, watching her goldfish doing their morning gym, feeling very sleepy. I came out from my trance-like state by an apparition in pink! “Shall we get breakfast,” Nus asked. Nodding, I followed her downstairs where Nus presented to me the possible combinations for breakfast. Too tired to bother about my usual preferences, I took a cereal bar, some strawberries and a cup of hot tea, and we went to the table to eat.

We wondered what was on TV as we switched it on. There was a silly cartoon on, and we, or I should say, Nus decided to watch it. So engrossed was she in the show that she started to emulate the characters’ gestures, all the while telling me: “I would never go so far to save you, me, you know?” as a comment on the day’s episode theme. I only nodded and laughed, commenting on how silly the cartoon was! Breakfast done, we cleaned up and went back upstairs. The events that followed are a blur for me. I’m sure we just talked of things, but I can’t really remember what! All I remember is us deciding to shower for it was soon time for G. to come!

Who came at 11.27 a.m. instead of 11.30 a.m. I’m just glad we managed to take a shower before she came, for our pink pajamas weren’t really that welcoming. Sitting in my armchair, G. really looked like a psychologist taken out of her consultation room, as I did when I sat in it the day before. I think it’s the armchair… Anyway, we got the crazy idea to create a mini-movie with me as patient and G. as psychologist. Sayuka was the cameraman, or rather should I say, camerawoman. Though none of us were actors or interested in acting, we do have that hobby of writing mini-scenarios which we would act out. *goes to the times when we were mythology crazy and wrote the domestic disputes of Zeus and Hera*

As the one holding the camera, I couldn’t possibly laugh, much as I would have loved to. Nus was so much in her role of a stingy and frustrated young woman whose husband left her, that she yelled, without mercy, at poor G. who couldn’t keep up with her pace. I tried hard to stifle giggles, concentrating on immortalizing the moment a new actress was born. Finally the mini-movie was done, and I dissolved in uncontrollable laughter at last! Lying again of the sofa-bed, we tried to think of something to do. We had planned so many things, but at that time, they weren’t really that appealing. Until G. voiced out that she wanted to play Barbie.

So off we climbed down the stairs, to what Nus’s Mom had termed: the messy room. Perched on a chair, rummaging through the toy cupboard, Nus gave us item after item, till we no longer could hold anything. While teasing us, Nus’s Mom came to our rescue, with a basket and a plastic bag, that were soon stuffed with toys. Some 15 minutes or so later, we were all ready, and satisfied and giddy with excitement, we returned to Nus’s room for the construction of Dull Town!

Supermom to the Rescue

Sitting on the large carpet, we all started setting up everything, from the bedroom to the garden to the supermarket. We managed to find a use to every single accessories we brought with us and no need to say that we were really innovative for the things that we didn’t have; my cushion cover was turned into the velvet green lawn of the garden, my autumn and mountain themes puzzles became the sceneries and my mom’s tissue box was the small house in the small meadow (la petite maison dans la petite prairie). After shooting some commercials for Sparkling Comestics, we decided to create another mini-movie with the dolls as actors.

Sparkling Cosmetics, “Parce que je le vaux bien”

Starring were, Madeleine Medusa, the famous top model of Sparkling Cosmetics, her lover, Jean Ken, an internationally renowned gymnast and their daughter, Whity Medusa. There also were the peeping tom neighbor, Vosin Voyeur and his gossiper wife, Vosine Voyeur along with the not-so-famous journalist, Jacqueline Fouine, who was looking for the scoop of her life. Oh, I almost forgot Lolita McLust, the AV actress who was on the run from her fans and came for refuge in Dull Town.

A web of stories was spun, as Jean Ken met Lolita McLust and ended up in bed with her and Vosin Voyeur who saw them told his wife who in turn told Jacqueline Fouine. It was really a pity that G. missed the very gory ending we created. Several songs were chosen to suit the scenes we had written and we really are proud that we managed to bring together Beethoven, Dvorzak, Vanessa Mae, Bond, Anna Tsuchiya, Nobuo Uematsu, Alex Chu and Britney Spears. Sayuka and I are really the best team ever, for we do not even have to go into lengthy explanations to know what exactly the other wants, that is really going to be the thing I’d miss the most when I go away in September.
So true… I’ll sure miss it too… I have never met till now someone who could understand what I want without I needing to explain. These two days at Nus’s place has reawakened our complicity, something that I’ll miss when she goes in September. We rediscovered ourselves through the fun, building a closer bond and making the best memories to last us a lifetime. For me, this sleep-over would always remain the best time of my life, one that I would cherish for life.

As it is for me…