Her eyes filled with tears, yet again. These past hours, all she seemed to have been doing is crying. Time had maybe healed her but she had never forgotten her baby. The first time she moved, the first time she saw her on the doc’s screen, all came back to her and more tears too. Crying cleanses the soul, someone had told her. Amongst tears came a smile.

“Re…ally?”

She surprised herself when this came out of her mouth. Ever since her whole world crumbled before her, tears had been pouring. No words had come out ever since.

“Yeah, really. There was this boy friend, uhhh no, man friend, of the friend of the daughter of my great great great uncle, uhh, whatever… He told me this when I was kid. You see, I had been digging at the back of my garden to reach the other side of the world. I admit it… I was dumb…”

Michael always could make her laugh, in whatever situation she was. Was it what gave birth to her love for him? Was it his kind heart? Or was it those pure eyes that were looking at her right now?

“Al, I know this is not the time, neither the place but I have a feeling I have to tell you this.”

“Hmmm?”

“Erm… Nothing really, it can wait. I nearly forgot. Anata send something for you.”

He handed a purple envelope to her. Inside was the drawing of three persons; a man, a woman and a little girl. The three of them maybe. She smiled when she looked at the picture. It showed all the innocence a child should have, the same she had lost; the colours were too bright, the persons were not proportioned and ‘Dad’ was wearing a shirt with polka dots. But to her eyes, it was the most wonderful gift ever.

There was also a ‘get well soon’ card included in the envelope. She opened it and started reading.

“Dear Al,
I’m sorry I am not here to see you. You see, Dad said I had to go to school. Please don’t be angry at me. It’s all his fault. Anyway, he promised to take me to you this afternoon. Get well soon.I love you

~Anata

P.S. By the way, Dad would like to know if you’d want to marry him. I would really like to have you as Mom. Love you. “

It was not the happy ending she had sought, but she was happy. She now had a loving husband and the daughter she’d dreamt of. What could she ask for more? Her past always haunted her now and then, but she had a future to look forward to, until someone else decided she had no future…

She woke up with a start. She was panting heavily. She could hardly breathe and there was an acute pain in her chest. She suddenly wanted to throw up. She ran to the bathroom as fast as she could, her hand blocking her mouth.

She could taste blood in her mouth. She looked at her hand; it was all covered red, blood dripping on the floor. She raised her head to find herself staring at her in the mirror. Michael was at the back, near the door, concern in his eyes…

“Lung cancer. I’m sorry Michael but she’s at the last stage. If only it had been detected earlier. Even with treatment, the five-year survival rate is 14% and she…”

She was in the other room but she heard these words of the doctor. It was all over…

And there she lay on the bed, waiting for Death to come and take her. She heard the door open. She could not move but she felt Michael’s presence.

“Hey. I brought you flowers. Anata picked them up this morning. You know, she couldn’t come but she send you this ‘get well soon’ card. She made it herself. Should I read it to you?”

He paused, as if waiting for a response. I wanted to answer him but I couldn’t. My lips wouldn’t move.

“Okay, here it goes. Dear Mom, I’m sorry I am not here to see you. You see, Dad said I had to go to school. Please don’t be angry… “

His voice cracked… She was sure by now, he must be crying but didn’t want her to hear.

“I’ll… I’ll just leave it here, for you to read when you feel like it.”

She felt like smiling. He knew she wouldn’t be able to wake up and read it by herself. He just didn’t have to courage to admit that it was almost over.

“I’ll be going now. I have to pick her up from school.”

That was so like him. It was 10 a.m. and Anata’s school would finish at 2. She was sure his eyes were all red from crying all night.

“I love you…”

With these words, he bent down and his lips found hers. One tear fell down on her cheek. Another one after that. She felt it was now time to go.

And with Michael’s kiss, she left…

© 2007, Nussaïbah. Some Rights Reserved.