She found herself at the beach, in a one piece swimming suit laying on the soft sand. How she had landed there, she had absolutely no idea, and somehow she didn’t care. From far, she could see her friends, laughing and enjoying themselves in the water. It had been very long ever since she had some fun and it was certainly time for now to put the past behind her and move on. She sighed, that was gonna be difficult, but she had too. She didn’t have the right to ruin her entire life just because of her own memories. Now, from where had this thought just come from?

Giving her a little tap on the head, she quickly casted these memories away. She didn’t know why she was here but it had a reason. She just had to stop her mind from working and everything’s would be alright. She wouldn’t have to go over the past again, nor cry these tears again. A new life was waiting for her and she didn’t want to miss it. She was still young; there wasn’t anything that she couldn’t do. Or maybe there was. Her cooking was awful; she would have to work on that later. For now, only she mattered.

She stood up, her new resolution jingling in her head. She was ready, to grab the world in her hands. She made way towards her friends and found Kaili waving at her. She waved back, her lips crooking into a smile and those turquoise eyes gleaming. It felt good, to be free from the ghosts of the past, she thought. She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled but it sure felt good. She continued walking until the cold water kissed her feet. A shiver ran down her spine. Eyes closed, she captured this instant, knowing it would be long until that feeling came to her again.

“You joining us?”

Kaili had just come up to her.

“No… I think I’m gonna take this long wa-“

She stopped just in the middle of her sentence. Something was wrong, she felt it. She didn’t know why, but the sense of déjà-vu struck her. She knew she had lived this scene before but how could it be possible.

“What happened?”

“Nothing… Nothing… I’ll join you guys later.”

And she went on this long walk she had promised herself, sometimes stopping around to have a look around her. Walking in this water was so soothing. Small waves crashing on her legs, she had never noticed how good it felt. She kept on walking, aimlessly, without any destination. Then she stopped and sat down on the wet sand.

Watching towards the horizon, she found that the sky had changed into a strange colour. It wasn’t the blue she had seen just some seconds ago, but an orange colour. Or was it pink or even red? She couldn’t decide herself, but that was just the beauty of the sunset. It was time to go back, she thought.

But somehow, she never did go back. That scene just crumbled around her, another one building up at the same time. The salty air of the sea disappeared, the peace, the beauty, everything was gone in this small lapse of time.

Now, she was sitting down on some kind of rock and leaning against a wall. She recognised Kaili, her fiancé, some other friends and…. Matt. What was he doing here? She hadn’t seen him ever since he had decided to leave. His work had been more important that anything, that his friends, than her… It still hurt when she thought about it. He had been her everything but yet, she hadn’t mean anything to him. A summer fling, that was all it was for him.

She took a deep breath. Now that he was in front of her, she had to tell him what she really thought of him. The only sight on these grey eyes had this devastating effect on her. She felt weak and she hated herself for that. She hated herself for wanting to reach out for him and most important of all, she hated herself for still keeping these feelings for him.

“Take care Matt.”

“We will miss you, dude.”

“Keep in touch, man.”

Her face filled with horror. She wasn’t seeing him again, she was reliving the scene. The one when he was going, leaving her only with this loneliness. She didn’t want to live that again. It had hurt so much and she never did get over it. She won’t be able to see him leave one more time. Her heart wouldn’t hold it.

“Matt…”

Those grey eyes turned to her and she knew what was going to happen. Nothing would change. He would go away, as it had been planned from the beginning. She knew she shouldn’t have let him so close, but she was defenseless. The more she had wanted to turn her back on him, the more he had come to her.

He bent down to kiss her. The last one she would taste. Those tears running down her cheeks; she tried to stop them but she simply couldn’t. He stopped a few centimeters away from her face and wiped out her tears. She turned back, holding her tears as much as she could. She couldn’t lose control now. She couldn’t…

She woke up with a start, feeling her pillow wet. She had been crying in her sleep… again. Two years time hadn’t healed her; that memory was still fresh in her mind. She had done all she could to forget him but nothing had worked. Kaili kept saying she should give herself time. She had, but it seemed even time couldn’t heal her.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear someone coming towards her. Brought back to reality by some noise, she saw a silhouette in the darkness of the night. This couldn’t be good, she thought. It wasn’t the right time to have a stranger in the house, one whom she hadn’t invited. She quickly reviewed her options but her mind went blank. What could a woman half asleep in her bed do to her assailant? A sensation of fear crept onto her and she found herself shaking.

“God, please… protect me…”, she murmured to herself. She was petrified and couldn’t move at all. All her reflexes had left her and she didn’t know what to do. That dream had exhausted her and she found no energy to scream. What would happen to her?

She felt his arms wrapped around her and she found herself relaxing. She couldn’t quite believe it… She recognised this touch… this scent… this voice…

“I missed you…”

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